My Two Cents: March 2010

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Apocalypse of the World

I want to see it. I don't care if I'm alive for it, looking down on it from Heaven, up from Hell or have to be re-incarnated, but it's must-see TV.

Swiffer Dusters

My only experience with one came when I used one that had already been used. It worked well enough that it made me wonder, "What kind of magical cleaning powers could a fresh one have?"

Kids on Leashes

What a sight to see! If I ever do that, though, kill me.

I feel like I've had to settle on DD because of a lack of Krispy Kreme factories in the area. Also, I waaaaaaaay prefer the bakery we used to have on my Main Street, which was incredibly delicious (until it closed).

Lady Gaga's Telephone Video

Her video for "Bad Romance" is the greatest video I've ever seen (which is only fitting, considering it's the catchiest song I've ever heard). I'd put the video, however, more on par with "Paparazzi" (a level below "Bad Romance"), if for no other reason that the inter-cutting of song with narrative.

Buddhism

I'm sort of surprised it hasn't taken off more in America. It hasn't, at least as far as I've noticed.

Tacos

All Mexican food tastes the same, which is cool because all Mexican food is great. Tacos were my family's food of choice for the Super Bowl until the Taco Bell nearby closed -- since then, we've had to make due with appetizers and other finger foods.

Bluetooth

I never knew I could shut off Bluetooth on my phone (which I never used) until two months before I got a new one. I wonder what that could have done to improve my battery life.

UGGs

While I can't speak about them in terms of fashion, they DO keep feet very warm. I forget whose pair I tried on (or at least got my feet somewhat into), but it was like Heaven (or should I say a pleasant Hell?) for my toes.

Star Trek

I've never seen an episode of the TV show, only the movie. I absolutely loved everything about the movie except for the fact that you know no one will die (because it's the origin story), so a lot of the suspense is taken out of it.

Star Wars

Sadly, I haven't seen them in a long time, which is why I'm planning on re-watching them this week. However, I'd rather watch Hurley's (from Lost) version of Return of the Jedi, which he was writing when he found himself in 1977 -- I'm sure it would have been the greatest thing I've ever seen.

LOLcats

They're sort of my favorite thing ever. Picking my favorite is like picking a favorite kid -- I just can't do it -- but I will leave you with a special little something.

The iPad

I get who they're marketing it to, and I know it isn't for me. I'm just banking on getting a free Kindle because of Amazon Prime.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Movie Spotlight: Glengarry Glen Ross

(A new feature on My Two Cents. In two sentences -- as usual -- I will tell you why I think you should watch a movie that I don't think you've seen.)

This film has the greatest combination of writing (David Mamet) and acting (Pacino, Spacey, Lemmon, Baldwin, Arkin) I think I've ever seen. Plus, you'll never see an A-Lister (Spacey) get so verbally destroyed in a movie again (care of Al Pacino).

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Girl Scout Cookies

Caramel DeLites (aka Samoas) are, far and away, the most delicious of all the cookies. I prefer Tim's scenario (on the Life & Times of Tim) of selling fake Louis Vuitton handbags, however.

Escargot

I'll never eat snails. However, if I had to, I'd call them "escargot" because the name is just fancy enough to make it tempting.

P.E.T.A.

I'm all for treating animals ethically, but can you all just not be so crazy? Thanks.

Fishing

I've only gone fishing once, and I out-caught my dad 2-0. I think I'm ready for the sea.

Wesley Snipes

He is in Passenger 57. The VHS for Passenger 57 holds a trailer for Jeff Speakman's "Street Knight," which is perhaps the greatest movie I've ever seen.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

My all-time favorite candy. While I like every variation I've tried -- peanut butter on the outside, white chocolate, dark chocolate -- old reliable is still the best.

Kit Kats

Like Twix, I like that you get two (or four!) of them because you can finish one and still know there's more. They may have replaced Reese's as my candy-to-get at Halloween, which I thought would never happen.

Plastic Beach

I haven't really listened to the Gorillaz since "Clint Eastwood." They're headlining Coachella, though, which tells me that maybe I should give them another shot.

Olympic Hockey

I watched more Olympic hockey this year -- roughly one half of the Gold Medal game -- than NHL hockey this year. I was especially upset with how quickly the game ended; it seemed like the U.S. cleared the puck, then all of a sudden Crosby cuts to the net and scores... huh?

Scrubs

I hate Zach Braff. With that said, I like Scrubs ten times more than I like Garden State, but I absolutely HATE Garden state.

George Clooney

I'm pretty sure the man can't make a bad movie. I'm planning on having a Clooney-double-feature-extravaganza soon, featuring Michael Clayton and Up in the Air.

Rodney Dangerfield

I believe I've only seen him in "Back to School." However, it was enough to make me laugh out loud (a little) when some girl on Jeopardy wrote him in as her final jeopardy answer, when the answer was actually Charlie Chaplin.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Non-College Students on Facebook

It's amazing how the possibility for more money can completely shift the target market for a product. Well, amazing isn't the right word, but it's the first word that came to mind.

Twilight

As though this series didn't do enough to completely disrupt all the credibility that the film "Let the Right One In" brought to vampires in cinema (and culture, for that matter), the Academy's decision to lump it in during the horror montage in this year's Academy Awards was disgusting. PLEASE WATCH "LET THE RIGHT ONE IN" NOW AND FORGET TWILIGHT EVER EXISTED.

Ayn Rand

Dear Ms. Rand: Why do you write books that are so appealing yet so long? You're discouraging me from beginning Atlas Shrugged solely because of the novel's sheer length.

Raising the Flag at Ground Zero (photograph)

(as seen here: http://iconicphotos.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/9-11_firemans_flag_full-jpg.jpeg)

I wish a picture I made became this well known. I'd like to be on a stamp!

American Gladiator

The older version reigns supreme in every way. In fact, pretty much everything from the 1980s was better than things are today.

Saturday Night Live

When your show is a "comedy" show, and I don't laugh for an hour, something's wrong. Something's also wrong when you can make Zach Galafianakis un-funny, which is exactly what they did last week.

Spam (Food)

I've eaten spam on exactly one day in my life, and it was in a friendly competition to decipher which sample was original spam, hickory spam and generic spam. The weirdest part was that the generic / storebought sample was the tastiest.

GTL

I'm not a fan of gym - tanning - laundry. I tried to think of an alternative that I prefer, but then I realized I don't like anything about this cultural movement, so it's probably best to just not get involved.

IMDb

Behind Google, it's arguably my favorite Web site. One of my favorite things to do is to click on a random actor in a movie and see how quickly I can get to another actor or another movie that I have in mind.

Tina Fey

While I haven't gotten to the "bad" seasons of 30 Rock yet (I'm still only in the middle of season two), I can't see how she could be unfunny. She may not be everyone's cup o' tea, but I love her quirkiness.

One Hit Wonders

They're everyone's favorites. Why do two hit wonders get no love?

All That

It's like SNL... for kids! I don't think I ever realized that until just now.

Pete and Pete

I always wanted to stand in front of an open refrigerator, just like the older Pete did in one episode. However, I had air conditioning, so I never really needed to do this -- it was more of a want.

Legends of the Hidden Temple

The wise choice is to go into the temple second. You come out looking like a hero, you're inevitably not going to get caught and even if you don't win, you can just say your partner didn't give you enough time.

Double Dare

Trivia always seemed like the better option than the physical challenge. Except for ratings, of course.

Ahh! Real Monsters

I never loved the show, though I did enjoy it. It did, however, foster my childhood interest of drawing monsters as weird as I could imagine.

Power Rangers

Green's a cooler color than white, so why Tommy made that change is a decision I'll never understand. Unless it was just to sell more toys, then I get it.

Rocko's Modern Life

Being able to use an episode from this show for my psychology class in high school was probably the pinnacle of my academic career. What blows my mind most about this show is how pointed and adult-oriented a lot of the jokes were, and how they went so far over my head when I was young.

Salute Your Shorts

One of my all-time favorite shows from my childhood. All I really remember from it, though, is that I simultaneously loved and hated the fact that campers ruined the theme song.

Zombie Dog

(as found here: http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o288/atreyu4life69/Ugly_dog.jpg)

I don't want to know what happened to this dog, nor do I care. The only thing I do care about is that I never meet him (or her).

Zombie Outbreaks

While an outbreak would certainly spice up the ole daily routine, I don't know that I'm all for it... yet. I want another month to prepare, then I'll be ready.

Decapitation

I'm not sure how anyone can be for it. However, my favorite moment in Gladiator is when Russell Crowe beheads that guy, so I guess at one point in my life, I was for it.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Blow-Up Furniture

Are we talking about inflatable furniture or furniture that can be detonated? Actually, I'm cool with both, so it ultimately doesn't matter.

Musical Theater

If I'm going to see a play, I think I'd prefer to see a musical. However, the play that I want to see the most -- an adaptation of the opening scene of Inglourious Basterds -- would have to be 100 percent music-free.

Snowboarding

Yet another experience I've yet to... experience. I'd like to ultimately learn how to snowboard and ski, but I feel I would be good at neither.

Converses

I've never owned them. Then again, I've never really been fashionable, so I feel this falls right in line with who I am.

Plain Note Cards

They're sort of like stiff printer paper. They're more for drawing than writing, so you need to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into when you buy 'em.

Sippy Cups

Is it possible to make them fashionable for college students? Because then I could maybe drink while walking, instead of having to slow my progress to a halt to take a sip of Mountain Dew while on the go.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

When you play extreme rock, paper, scissors, I feel it's to your advantage to always throw paper (if you lose to scissors, it's generally the least painful of the three ways to lose). I still prefer the game my friends and I made up in first grade, though: log, river, volcano.

Hay Barrels

I've never seen a barrel of hay. I like hay rides, though, so maybe I should try rolling down a hill in a hay barrel, just to see what it's like.

Super Mario Bros.

The third incarnation of the game may be my favorite NES game. I've never beaten it, so I feel it's something I'm going to need to do before I kick the bucket.

Mexican Jumping Beans

Are they a food? Or a toy?

Crackheads

I've never met one, as far as I know. If I ever do meet one, I just hope he or she doesn't pull a knife on me, because I'm really trying to get through life without being stabbed.

Jesus

I feel featuring him on a Web site with links to two Justin Bieber videos is a little strange, but whatever. Growing up, I always thought it was weird that Easter was a more important holiday to Christians than Christmas, but once I got it, I got it.

French People

They're alright, I guess. This is such a broad topic that it makes a poignant response difficult -- I loved the film Amelie, though (and more specifically, Audrey Tatou).

Elevators

I routinely looked forward to using elevators at malls, hotels and wherever else I could find them. However, using them for most of my time at college has destroyed the novelty they once provided me.

Dede Koswara

I sort of would like to have this problem, if only for the novelty of it all. He's also one step closer to becoming a Pokémon than me, which is never a bad thing.

People Who Eat Placenta

It's supposed to make you younger, right? Can't exercise and a healthy diet do the trick with 100 percent less gross?

Babies

I don't think every one is cute, yet many people do. On a side note, I feel the film of the same name is going to be the dumbest-yet-most-profitable documentary of my lifetime.

Hulk Hogan

I never cared for wrestling growing up. However, while watching Wrestlemania 25 (A QUARTER CENTURY OF GREATNESS), I pined for a childhood filled with Hulkmania.

Campus Police

The level of power they actually have has an inverse proportion to how much they think they have. At least, that's what I've come to learn in my limited experience.

Justin Bieber

What started out as an ironic enjoyment of his music has evolved into a much darker yet enjoyable experience for me. I only wish someone had gotten me his "One Less Lonely Girl" flower bouquet for Valentine's Day...

The Jonas Brothers

I can't tell them apart, though my favorite is probably the Bonus Jonas (Bonas Jonas?). They're nothing, though, when compared to Miley or J-Biebz.

Macs vs. PCs

In a dream world where I've won the lottery / inherited money I can blow on frivolous things, buying a Mac to use for design would certain be near the top of the list. However, since I live in reality (and enjoy playing computer games), I see myself sticking with PCs for the foreseeable future.

Rock Band

Rock Band Network came out today, which means I'm going to be more broke than I was rather quickly. Anyone who thinks Guitar Hero is better needs to have their mental health examined.

The Simpsons

Growing up, I wasn't allowed to watch it, which I feel has left me in the dark in terms of a lot of references and jokes. It's pretty daunting to catch up on 20 seasons, but I've got some time.

Blackberrys/ies

I feel that they're a weird middle ground between regular cell phones and other smart phones (like the iPhone or the Droid). Blackberries and raspberries are a delectable taste combination.

Homemade Cards

I think buying cards from anywhere is a waste of money. Homemade cards, therefore, have two benefits: they are cheaper and also show that you care!

Old Spice Commercials

I feel rather neutral about them, to be honest. I use their products already, though, so I guess it's safe to say that I'm not the demographic that they need to be targeting.

Rube Goldberg Machines

Regardless of how long it takes you, getting one to work perfectly is worth however much time you put into it. On a side note, I wish I'd played Mouse Trap when I was little.

OK Go's Music Videos

I'm not really a fan of their music, but they routinely make incredible videos. If it wasn't for Gaga and Muse, I'd have to give them the nod for best videos ever.

Second-Hand Smoke

If I don't want first-hand smoke, what makes you, random smoker, think I want your second-hand smoke? I don't mind if you turn away mid-conversation to blow the smoke in a direction that isn't toward my face -- I'd applaud the gesture, in fact.

Plaid Shirts

Wearing one makes you run the risk of looking like a lumberjack. Being able to pull it off, however, opens your wardrobe to a whole other realm of fashion.

Beer Pong

Drinkball is a more exciting rendition / take on this game. However, seeing Payson throw a ball that hit off his opponent's cup's lip and bounce into his own cup was priceless (and something I don't think will ever be topped).

Muscle Milk

Milk already gives you muscles. Right?

Pilates

I'm relatively amateur when it comes to the subject. However, doing pilates in high school was always frustrating because I'd hurt for the rest of the day, which made getting work accomplished rather difficult.

Alice in Wonderland

I'm looking forward to the new movie, if for no other reason than Depp + Burton + Bonham Carter. My favorite adaptation of (or allusion to) the story, however, has got to be "The Matrix."

Skype

I'd love to be able to utilize this for all it's worth. I've used it once for a podcast (which went really well), but I'd like to have reason to use the headset I bought for $15 a few years ago.

Starbucks

I don't like coffee. Luda's reference in "Baby" is my favorite instance of the word.

McCafé

I've never been to one. Considering I don't like McDonalds or coffee, I can't imagine why I'd want to go to one.

Pink Flamingos (film)

I've only seen one John Waters movie, Serial Mom, which was before I saw him do a semi-stand-up routine at Ramapo my freshman year. I thought it was weird, but I wonder what I'd think now if I saw him again?

Crayola Crayons

I wish I still had a reason to use them. My favorite used to be Robin's Egg Blue, which you could tell because it was severely run down while most of the rest were nearly flawless.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Old-Timey Actors

When I watch old movies, I'm blown away by the fact that it seems like everyone is a great actor or actress. I know I'm mostly watching the best of the best, but when comparing it to today's movies, it isn't even close.

Cary Grant

I've seen him in five movies -- Bringing Up Baby, The Philadelphia Story, Notorious, To Catch a Thief and North By Northwest -- and I've really liked them all. What impresses me most, though, is that I'd watch any of them again in a heartbeat.

The American Museum of Natural History

I've never been there, but I've been to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, and that was totally awesome. Dinosaurs!

Double Breasted Suits

I prefer Zoot Suits, to be honest. Actually, I know nothing about suits.

David Fincher

One of my ten favorite directors. I've seen most of his movies, and there isn't one I didn't like -- The Game is a surprisingly great sleeper.

NBC

Unless I'm forgetting something, I've only liked one show that's ever been on NBC: 30 Rock. It is host, however, to my least favorite show on television today: The Office.

Plastic Bubble Packaging

Like packing peanuts, it was much more fun when I was little. Unlike packing peanuts, though, it still remains fun to this day.

Maury

Every episode of Maury I've ever seen (keep in mind, this is roughly two) has been about fat babies. I'd like to think every episode is about fat babies, even though I know they aren't.

Pulp in Orange Juice

I prefer No Pulp, thank you very much. The only pulp I like is in my fiction.

Ghostbusters 3

Considering the fact that I only saw the first two for the first time in the last 36 months, I'm not pining over new Ghostbusters adventures as much as many others are. I'd like to see one, sure, but I wouldn't want it if it tarnished the series in any way.